Cigarette Lighters, A Violin, Headphones And A Shine Box: The Mad Men Season Premiere

There's nothing avant garde about a psychotherapy session in a TV drama, but Roger Sterling on the couch was as entertaining as television gets. Not only that, it set up the theme for the episode and the season: mortality.

"What are the events in life? It's like you see a door. The first time you come to it you say, 'Oh, what's on the other side of the door?' 

Then you open a few doors, then you say, "I think I want to go over that bridge this time, I'm tired of doors.' Finally you go through one of these things and you come out the other side and you realize that's all there are: doors. And windows and bridges and gates, and they all open the same way. And they all close behind you.

Look, life is supposed to be a path, and you go along and things happen to you and they're supposed to change you, change your direction. But it turns out that's not true. It turns out the experiences are nothing. They're just some pennies you pick up off the floor, stick 'em in your pocket, and you're just going in a straight line to you know where.

It is the eve of 1968, one of the most turbulent years in our nation's history. How will Matthew Weiner and the Mad Men think tank handle the ongoing Vietnam War? MLK and RFK assassinations? LBJ's lame duck year? Bloody riots? Black Power? The Detroit Tigers?

They've already dealt with life and death - Don Draper's encounter with the doorman and the surgeon (and the surgeon's wife and Dante's Inferno) all set against the backdrop of his Hawaii trip and a young serviceman facing the horrors of Vietnam and marriage: "The jumping off point."

And Roger's self-analysis comes fill circle as he deals with the death of his mother (This is my funeral!) however delayed the reaction. And his experiences with his ex-wives (both of them) and his daughter are just more pennies in his pocket.

Now only if we could kill off Betty Draper Francis. She's a character that continues to be unnecessary, unlikeable and unsympathetic. That would be a mega plotline - Betty dying (most likely behind the wheel - don't think that reckless driving ticket was in the script for no reason) and the kids moving in with Don and Megan. That would be a significant doorway to inch through. And deal with death in the most personal possible way.

Predictions for the Mad Men Season Finale: Go Fish

Some of my friends who enjoy Mad Men don't like the Sally Draper story arc. I find it to be one of the most enjoyable parts of the series. Her reaction to her parents' breakup, combined with growing up as a young lady in the mid 1960s, is fascinating.

But that only leads into Backtime's Mad Men fishing expedition into the season finale:

1. Sally Draper will do something more defiant and outrageous than anything she's pulled to this point. Her Mom's plan to move to get her away from Glenn down the street will be the next tipping point in her volatile state in the "Francis" residence.

2. There will be some sort of confrontation between Don Draper's most recent steady, Dr. Faye Miller, and his new secretary Megan.

3. Roger Sterling will be marginalized. Now John Slattery has become a bona fide TV star so I don't expect him to be gone from the series, but he will become a glorified consultant a la the role that Bert Cooper has take on this season.

4. As a result, Pete Campbell gets to be the agency's top dog. And SCDP won't have to change their logo as Campbell slides right into Sterling Campbell Draper Pryce.

5. Don Draper's New York Times ad that renounces Big Tobacco catches the eye of some big fish, and even prompts the return of Conrad Hilton, who signs with SCDP and saves them from economic free fall.

6. But ultimately, it will be an episode that ends the season with closure instead of an open-ended cliffhanger and tons of unanswered questions (a la AMC's other show, Breaking Bad).

Mad Mentor: When Roger Met Don

On the eve of Don Draper's first Clio Award for television advertising excellence, Roger Sterling walks down memory lane to how it became possible. When he met Don, the fur guy. And it's kind of a hazy path considering how much they each drink along the way. Just consider Roger's ramblings in the dictation of his book.

And for Don the award is a culmination of his crooked path to the highest heights of his profession. And after the win, the calculated Draper lets his guard down. First comes the most exaggerated case of hubris, then the drunken blur.

Don still didn't pull a Duck Phillips, ranting out in a crowded banquet room, but his spouting at the mouth caused him to inadvertently steal a slogan from an idiot he interviewed earlier. Then naturally he winds up in bed with a waitress he doesn't remember.

For Roger, the alcohol reveals the truth in his feelings. He's jealous of Don, who always gets the credit and naturally he transfers his anger to any target he can find.

Ultimately, Roger's behavior is damaging his own company. Lane Pryce, the London corporate lackey who runs the nuts and bolts of the agency said so much calling him a "child" in his empowerment of Pete Campbell. This ultimately begs the question, "Who runs Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce?"

1. Don Draper - He's the face of the firm, but ultimately a creative diva who goes off the reservation whenever he fells like it.

2. Roger Sterling - A buffoon who is tied to Lucky Strike, the company's biggest client. But he's a loose cannon (see what he did with the Japanese Honda people?) who isn't up to date in 1965.

3. Bert Cooper - Older than Sterling, his presence is mostly ceremonial.

4. Lane Pryce - He really is in control of everything with a dollar sign attached. But he's just an operational wizard who doesn't do accounts or creative, and is still an outsider.

5. Pete Campbell - This is the best character arc in the 4 seasons of the series. He went from a conniving kid to a savvy, confident exec who is well on his way to running the show.

Pete has been challenging Roger this season, and took the balls of his former colleague/competitor Ken Cosgrove while hiring him back.

The next generation is on the rise on the creative side as well with Peggy taking the balls of her creative cohort in the art department in a metaphorical game of strip poker. "Let's get liberated!"

When she "won," she was promptly tagged as "the smuggest bitch on the planet."

Just another major character evolution on a show where the kings are becoming the jesters, and their loyal servants are becoming enlightened.

Don Draper's Unlucky Strike

While Don Draper isn't too fickle about who he sleeps with, he knows he fucked this one up.

After leaving the Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Xmas party, Don had left his keys in his office in his usual drunken form. While he was ready to jump on the firm's psych consultant or the cute nurse across the hall, there are some lines Don doesn't cross.

Which of course he did when he nailed his own googly-eyed secretary after she came to the rescue with the keys in one of the queasiest scenes in the show's history. Alcohol is a hell of a drug. Just ask Freddy Rumsen, returning to the agency clean and sober after 16 months.

So what makes Don so different from Big Tobacco heir Lee Garner, Jr.? While the Lucky Strike prince can make any demands he wants (they are the #1 client responsible for some 70% of SCDP's billings), he does so in the brashest possible fashion.

Lee Garner, Jr. can threaten to fire the agency if he isn't accommodated by Art Director Salvatore Romano in a same-sex tryst. That was the likely tipping point for the likable character's departure from the firm last year.

Or he can pull out his swinging dick (figuratively of course) and demean the boss, Roger Sterling, in front of the entire agency, forcing him to be Santa at the Xmas party and putting his hands on Roger's wife. But Roger handles it with charm.

Nobody seems to know exactly what Roger Sterling does. When he comes back drunk from a client meeting, Peggy says, "I can't believe that's his job." But it's the ability to keep the big fish clients, the quirky, greedy, selfish perverts and their insatiable appetites...happy.

So back to the scoundrel tale of the tape:

Lucky Strike's Lee Garner Jr. is a bully who gets what he wants through sheer power and intimidation.

Don Draper uses his power to persuade and use and hurt people to get what he wants, from the same people who only want to please him.

"The morning after" meeting with his secretary was just as icy and sad as it could possibly be. He thanked her for bringing him his keys, which translates into "last night never happened." Allison gets a $100 bonus on a generic holiday card, while Don walks out of the office with the presents for his kids that she shopped for and immaculately wrapped.

Who is the more dangerous predator?

Mad Men Season 4 Premiere: Be Careful What You Wish For

Want to go rogue and start your own ad agency? Well you just might get it.

Welcome to Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, a "scrappy upstart" of an ad agency, that Creative Director Don Draper has just put on the map with a very clever Glo-Coat TV spot.

Now Don Draper is the headline name of the company, even though we all know that's not his name. But as Don plays "modest" to an Advertising Age reporter, he comes across as aloof. In one of Roger Sterling's signature one-liners, he spells it out to Don, "You turned all the sizzle from Glo-Coat into a wet fart."

So the one-story agency isn't growing as fast as the partners would like, no matter how many chairs Don kicks around in the non-conference room.

Want to save the Sugarberry Ham account, with a bold plan to stage two women fighting over a ham Thanksgiving week? And make an end run around Don? Be careful what you wish for, Peggy and Pete.

When the play fight turns real and assault charges are filed, the bail and hush money escalates. And Peggy gets a tongue-lashing to boot.

And there's the suddenly sympathetic figure, Henry Francis (thanks to a very well-placed scene with his mother).

Want a beautiful trophy bride? Be careful what you wish for. You just might get Betty Draper.

As much as I love the ad agency, this is the storyline that resounds. Henry's mother calls Betty a "silly woman," and he's seeing it himself. A spoiled child, who went straight from Daddy to Don to Henry, Betty still lives in Don's house and does nothing but badger her own children.

And for those of you who think Sally Draper is an annoying, ill-tempered child - you obviously don't own the feisty Daddy's Girl home version.

The whole episode comes full-circle, when Don's smart, somewhat risque presentation to a potential ladies swimwear client strikes out. He realizes that being modest is ignorant and tells the Wall Street Journal the more confident and appealing Don Draper story.

Maybe next Thanksgiving, Don won't have to hire a prostitute to smack him around (not pictured).

Trying to re-org Sterling-Cooper? Break a Leg!

***CAUTION-SPOILERS***

This most recent hour of Mad Men was the best twist-of-fate rollercoaster ride in series history.

I felt Joan's story really shared the main stage with Don, as her life is becoming very difficult. On the day of Dr. Harris' residency exam, Joan readies to leave the office that she runs (on some level) to live the good life as a surgeon's wife.

But as we've learned, while Dr. Harris appears to be a dreamboat he is quite flawed. Joan waits home all night for a drunk doc who was told he'll never be a surgeon, and has to extend his internship one more year.

But the announcements have already been made at the office, and Joan's goodbye cake has already been wheeled out...Until a tragic mishap. Now Jane has the perfect excuse to return to Sterling-Cooper, to hold things together after a crisis.

Roger Sterling's character re-emerges from his short funk with a series of quips, one-liners, and even some practical wisdom.

In Putnam, Powell & Lowe's grand plans for re-organization, Roger was marginalized, completely left off an overhead projector flowchart. "My name's on the wall, but not the chart." He sold the ad agency and now the new boss has exposed him as an empty suit. But at least he doesn't lose his sense of humor.

And then there's Don Draper. Always under control, always has the smart answer. Never tips his hand. Even when Pete Campbell tried to expose him as an imposter in Season 1, he played it cool and won. In this episode we saw a little more of him.

Don was practically giddy when rumors of PPL's visit to the office likely meant a promotion for the creative director and a London office. He was genuinely excited, then was put back in his place with his position on the chart, working alongside (though slightly beneath) London's new hotshot account man.

But just as we see Don as angry as he gets, telling Peggy the champagne sucks, his fortunes turn upward. They always do. Conrad Hilton calls him in for a meeting based on a chance encounter they shared at Sterling's party a few weeks back. And Don talks "Connie" into a deal.

Then Don finds out that his new boss Guy McKendrick had his foot severed in a freak accident at an office party. So Don continues to step in shit. And even though he's a scoundrel, lothario, and a phony, I feel a personal connection to him.

Because as a Dad, he's got all the answers at home too.

Nine-year old Sally Draper has become a very compelling character. You can see the conflict and confusion in her with the death of her new best friend "Grandpa Gene" and the nearly simultaneous birth of a baby brother named after him.

While Mom tries to buy her off with a Barbie doll, Don is patient and hopeful, and makes a difference.

Sterling-Cooper still on the clock Labor Day Weekend

While Home Box was out of the office, the ad men from Mad Men were working the Holiday. Thank goodness. CAUTION - SPOILERS.

Episode 4 of Season 3 was one of my favorites in the ever-evolving Best Show on TV.

First, Peggy's apartment search. It turned your stomach to see her bitter aging mother turn this into a personal affront. But it was hysterical to see her office-mates play a top-notch practical joke on her in response to her stilted roommate ad. My jaw dropped as one of the receptionists pretended to be from Teaneck, New Jersey - my hometown!

There was the watershed moment with Sal and his wife. She knows she's not getting any "tending" but never dreamed why. Sal says it's stress about the crossroads in his profession, but ultimately she starts to see that he has different tastes.

Sal got the gig on the Patio Cola shoot as the commercial director, a knock-off of the open of Bye-Bye Birdie. He was a little too effusive and effeminate when describing the cut to the negligee-clad Mrs. Romano.

Ultimately, Sal's work was excellent but the Patio Cola people didn't go for it. The Sterling-Cooper brain trust was stunned that it failed and wondered why. Roger Sterling chimed in with his only line of the show "It wasn't Ann-Margaret."

But the most underrated (and maybe most compelling) storyline was the building bond between 9-year old Sally Draper and "Grandpa Gene."

Don's father-in-law is an eccentric, tough SOB, still recovering from a stroke but finding a best friend in his granddaughter.

Just as he's starting to emerge as a breakout character, he drops dead at the A&P while buying fruit. In the aftermath, the family enjoyed some levity while discussing the arrangements. Sally was hiding, heard it, and she was outraged by their callousness. She was told to get back to the TV, to watch depressing news and even an early report of violence in Vietnam.

That's something that Mad Men does so well, weave in the events of the turbulent, changing times of the 1960s as storyline plot points.

But the Sally Draper character is clearly affected by this. She was always spunky (although a little chunky), but now you can see her developing into an out-of-control tween.

Outstanding work AMC, Mad Men is just too good to to take even a one-week hiatus.