Now Taking Volunteers

Haven't we been here before? How does a program like Tennessee so steeped in tradition, so loyally followed, so well funded, have such a hard time finding a football coach?

In January of 2010, there was a chain of events that led to this mess. Pete Carroll left USC (jumped ship before probation as it turned out) for the Seattle Seahawks. That's how slick guys are, one step ahead of the mess. Speaking of which, Lane Kiffin, who had been the Vols' coach for only one season, abruptly filled the void at USC.

This is the 21st century, and college coaching vacancies are now almost exclusively filled in December and not January. Kiffin left Tennessee in a lurch. They scrambled and three days later came up with Derek Dooley, the Head Coach & Athletic Director at Louisiana Tech. As the son of Vince Dooley and Nick Saban's former recruiting coordinator, Tennessee seemed to do well under the circumstance. He was a college administrator who said all the right things and carried himself the right way. But his team lost a lot of games, and now Tennessee starts over again.

Today, the CBSSports.com blog reported that the search at Tennessee was down to three: Oklahoma State's Mike Gundy, Louisville's Charlie Strong, and North Carolina's Larry Fedora.

Oklahoma State announced that Gundy is staying, a surprise to no one. Anyone who has seen the new Boone Pickens-funded OSU facilities (and jaw dropped immediately to the ground), knows that the place is a recruiting machine. Gundy even had a say in the design of the stadium to accommodate his staff's families. He's an alum and a lifer.

I think Charlie Strong is staying. Louisville will match any offer, and Strong has a young team and a great QB back next year. He may leave Louisville soon, but not this offseason and certainly not before he leads his team into The Sugar Bowl with a big chip on their shoulder. The Vols will want to move faster than that.

I can't speak to Larry Fedora. I know he's only had one year at North Carolina. But after Arkansas hit a home run with Bret Bielema, Tennessee may go off the board. Here are some thoughts:

1) Nick Saban. Why the hell not? What does Nick Saban have left to prove except he's the greatest coach of all-time? He doesn't seem like a guy who thrives on dynasties, but on being all-important. He'll beat your team with his, and beat his team with yours. Tennessee's got to at least pick up the phone.

2) Todd Graham. In 5 years, he's gone from Rice to Tulsa to Pitt to Arizona State. This would be a natural progression. No way, right? Well...

3) Mack Brown. Oh yeah. The Tennessee native is reportedly growing frustrated with the Frankenstein's Monster of The Longhorn Network. If he left for Tennessee, it would actually be less of a demand on his time and energy. Think he's too old to start over? Did you know he's only two months older than Saban?

But seriously Vol Nation, look at Northwestern's Pat Fitzgerald, will you? He'll be your coach for ten years. It's not a reach and he might just want the job.

Mad Men: Big 12 Edition

I should say mad scientists, as two of the top offensive minds in college football reunite in Stillwater. It was Holgorsen's (Mike Leach's) offensive system that was installed in his one year at Oklahoma State in 2010. Coach Gundy and his staff is still running it now, while Holgorsen has taken his circus act to West Virginia.

And one year after Holgorsen took over at West Virginia, the Mountaineers exited the Big East and found themselves in the Big 12. On weekends like this it will be a nightmare travel scenario for Mountaineer fans ("Country Roads" indeed), but Holgorsen is right back where he started.

Now Holgorsen's a charcter - some would say rock star - and is hardly sentimental about a return to Stillwater where he spent all of one season. He reminds us he was an assistant at Texas Tech and Houston for many years and spent far more time on the opponent sideline than the home one at Oklahoma State. He's also got bigger problems with a Mountaineer squad that's going off the rails after three straight losses.

It's warm here in Stillwater, but it's been very windy. If only a man could think of a way to harness all that power and turn it into energy. Just food for thought.

The wind may have an affect not only on Coach Holgorsen's hair, but on the high-volume passing games that both teams employ. Which is why Oklahoma State has the edge, despite a third string QB in this week, they have All-Big 12 RB Joseph Randle who could take the game over.

But the game within the game is the game of I-know-that-you-know-that-I-know what we're gonna do next, now just stop us. The over under on total points is somewhere in the neighborhood of 80. And around 4 hours, to see a couple of ornery guys on the sidelines. You can set your calendar to it.

When A Game Is Not A Game

Oklahoma State 84, Savannah State 0. Take all the cliches, "one down at a time," "play to the final gun," "give it the old college try," and they all add up to -- what's the point?

Some may point the finger at Mike Gundy and the Oklahoma State Cowboys for hanging such a loaded score on their poor opposition. That's preposterous. At what margin do you stop playing? 63-0? 70-0? Do you start taking knees in the middle of the 3rd quarter?

Oklahoma State played all 95 players who dressed, and 9 of their 12 touchdowns were runs. In fact two of their 2nd half TDs were 1-yard passes, theoretically less probable for a score than bucking it into the line.

The oddsmakers had installed Oklahoma State as a 67 1/2 point favorite so the outcome wasn't that far off from the hypothesis.

Do you blame Oklahoma State for scheduling a patsy? Maybe, but most major-conference schools schedule a lower division opponent to fill up their home calendar. Maybe they didn't realize, despite SSU's status as an FCS (1-AA) school, how downtrodden they've been - or maybe they did.

The result has also caught the attention of national college sportswriters like the New York Daily News' Dick "Hoops" Weiss. He knows exactly where to place the blame:

...if Savannah State administrators had any concern for the safety, welfare and psyche of their overmatched players, they should have taken a pass. We understand smaller schools that support football have bills to pay, but the idea of using players to balance an athletic budget is sad.

The payday for Savannah State to endure certain humiliation in Stillwater was $385,000. 

This is standard practice at underfunded HBCU institutions, but it is more practical in basketball when your traveling party is fewer than 20 and there's no equipment to haul, thus fewer expenses to manage or mismanage. And fewer souls to console.

Ron "Fang" Mitchell perennially takes his Coppin State Eagles basketball squad on the road to every national power you can think of, and those appearances fund the entire athletic department. And it's not without benefit. Coppin State scored one of the great upsets in NCAA tournament history as a #15 against #2 South Carolina. Of course that was 15 years ago.

Savannah State's men's basketball under Horace Broadnax has mirrored Mitchell's plan, and it's been somewhat successful. The Tigers play top-notch competition, and it helped shape them into 2012 MEAC regular season champions, gaining an NIT berth and a national TV game at Tennessee.

But to apply that business model to the football program only lends itself to making your school name a national punchline: 84-0. It couldn't possibly get any worse than that, could it? 

Savannah State at Florida State - Saturday. The Seminoles can name their score, but the game on the field is irrelevant. Chalk up another $475K.